vakkotaur

Express

Doesn't that imply speed? Like Pony Express, the fast for its day delivery service, or Express Lane which is supposed to be faster than those other lanes?

Well, the United States Postal Service has revised the definition. Express Mail used to mean that if you sent something today, it'd get where you wanted it tomorrow. Not anymore. I had to Express something today[1] (because Airborne Express - there's that word again - wasn't swift enough to follow simple directions about where to pick up that something... but that's another rant).

Other package delivery services use Express in their name to indicate speed. It's not Federal Someday Get There, it's Federal Express. Why? It's a next-day service! Sure, you can now get a cheaper, slower FedEx service, but they still offer the point of their name: Getting stuff places fast. Airborne Express, had they been smart enough to understand a simple location description, would have gotten the parcel where it needed to be next-day. But since they weren't competent enough to handle a simple pick-up, I got to have this exchange at the Post Office:

Clerk: When do you want this to get there?
Vakko: Tomorrow.
Clerk: I can get it there Saturday.
Vakko: Saturday isn't tomorrow. Isn't the whole point of Express mail to get something there tomorrow?
Clerk: No, it's to have it tracked. (Or was it confirmed delivery)
Vakko: Nice of USPS to change the definition after telling everyone it was for speed.
Clerk: Do you still want to send it Express?
Vakko: *grumble* Yes... *what choice is there?*

What's annoying is the quiet redefinition of "Express." If it's just delivery confirmation, then call it that. If it's second-rate package tracking, than call it that. First rate tracking is what Registered Mail gets. But Registered ain't Express. Since they are not offering a truly Express (fast!) service, they have no business using the name and implying that that is what they have. Bait-and-switch seems a good description of what USPS is doing with its alleged Express Mail service. It's one thing if USPS simply can't do what other places do. I can accept that. But being lied to is another matter, and using the term Express Mail for two-day delivery is a lie.

So now, because of a bungle by Airborne Express and the false advertising of USPS, I've wound up having to pay $17.85 for inferior service.

[1] I had not known that this item needed to be shipped until last night. Had I known about it earlier, I would have sent it earlier.

For a while I worked at a post office. I feel much better now, thanks. While working there, I of course got to see how things worked. While there's plenty to notice and comment upon, I'll keep it to today's mail.

A mail carrier normally arrives at the post office early, around 6:30 AM and sorts through all the mail to be delivered on his or her route. Around 8:00, ideally, the sorting is finished and the carrier can go out on the route and deliver. If the carrier for a given route is unavailable, another person is called in to take the route. This person usually has been trained on that route and so supposedly knows any quirks of it, and might even remember them.

Most mail carriers work a six day week, so a Monday holiday like yesterday's President's Day makes for a somewhat rare two day weekend. The mail doesn't completely stop on Sundays and holidays. It's still collected from the blue mailboxes, at least some of them, and still sorted and sent through the system. So on the Tuesday after a holiday, the pile of mail each carrier has to deliver is larger than usual and takes more time to sort and perhaps to deliver as well. That's part of why today's mail will probably be later than normal.

The other part is that people like extended weekends, and if only takes one day of vacation being used to get a weekend two days longer than normal, then that's what people try to do. Mail carriers will try to get the Tuesday off after a holiday. This gives them a three day weekend. It also means the substitute carrier gets to deal with the larger than normal amount of mail to deliver. The result is that the deliveries go even slower as the substitute takes more time to sort through and arrange the larger volume of mail and also takes more time to deliver as the route isn't nearly as familiar as it is to the regular carrier.

There aren't enough substitute carriers available to call in for all the regulars to take off, so maybe your mail will be on time. Almost.

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Entries tagged with mail

It reeks of false advertising.

Why the mail will probably be late today.

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March 2024

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