The Ring Conspiracy -or- How I Created a Monster

[vakkotaur]

Or, how checking tire pressure can turn into a setup that snowballs out of hand.

First, some background. Last year the Washer Well Wenches had an act (one of three) The Ring which was memorable for two props. One was a large stuffed rooster, the other was a Ring Pop, the lollipop-on-a-ring thing. At one point in this act "Mistress Willa" gets a ring and "Mistress Sheila," despairing of ever getting one of her own, tries it on to see what it is like. Naturally it gets stuck and thus leads to further comedy.

I'd not thought too much about it when I stopped at a gas station and checked the pressure of my car's tires. After seeing four were good, and bringing the evidently long-neglected spare up to pressure, I went inside for something else. I don't normally stop at that station, but it had the compressed air and such. Well, while inside I saw a bag of ring pops in the candy section. And an idea or two formed. I don't recall if I bought a few bags right then or stopped in later. But a few bags of ring pops were bought sometime.

Now, with one ring, it'd be semi-humorous. Sheila would get the ring she (in the act) lamented she'd never get. But nothing exceeds like excess, right? So, many rings, and many givers of rings. I needed co-conspirators. Luckily I know a few people who know a few more people who... and so on. And there's nothing like a great conspiracy. (Perhaps I should write about what happened with/to/for Willa last year, sometime. [Addendum: Did so here.)

Eventually it was confirmed that Sheila would be at the Waterloo faire. And then the royalty got involved. If anyone thinks I'm a schemer, they haven't encountered Her Majesty Queen Alesandre. And that's when things started to spin. Not only did she get her court involved, she went out and found more rings. By the time all was done, there were a total of 64 ring pops ready and waiting. And something was up that I wasn't being told. I figured I probably didn't want to know... can't reveal what you don't know and all that, even if I was the instigator who set the whole works in motion.

It started slow on Saturday, when jmaynard gave Sheila a ring, the first of the day. That was the simple, "Ok, that's cute." sort of thing. That was just the start. A few rings later, I gave her one myself. By the end of Saturday she had a bread wrapper with several rings in it. At one point in the day she commented, "I can't step out without getting proposed to!" and later "It's odd, I haven't been engaged for a while now." I think she said she had 15 rings by the end of the day.

Sunday started slower. I didn't see Sheila with a ring very often, and not in the morning at all. And only 15 of the 64 were used. I wondered how many be left over. A lot, I feared.

Due to my working on Monday and Jay having done about all he'd planned, and we were both starting the feel the effects of being rather more active than usual, we left around 3 PM. Evidently the remaining 3 hours of faire were packed. By now Sheila was well aware something was up, but claimed to have a twist of her own to add. The next few accounts are from The Pub web board on At The Faire.

Sheila's version: Last year wWw did a show called "The Ring" where Willa got a ring and Sheila was jealous. This weekend I was plotted against and got 55 rings along with propsels[sic] from each. At the end of the weekend the Queen demanded that I let her know my choice. Just when I was about to make it, Godfrey appeared and asked my hand. Willa attacked me in a jealous rage and in our fight poor Godfrey was killed. We were both heartbroken, but then I remembered that Willa had proposed to me as well. We are now engaged and will comfort each other in our sorrow. Send us luck and d a good life together. Thank you everyone who proposed and helped!!!

Her Majesty's version: Our own Wench Sheila received 43 (mostly) decent marriage proposals but, unfortunately, her choice (Godfrey, in a short return engagement) was smothered to death during a jealous tug-of-war . . . Sparrow and I tried our best to revive him, but were unsuccessful. Then again, what more fitting way for Godfrey to die? Smothered to death by Willa's pillas! In the end, Sheila chose Willa and the dear friends went off to console each other over the untimely death of the one true? love they shared.

Another part of the account, as told by John C. Wiseman: I'm afraid my "proposal" didn't really count. I said, "If you don't marry me, I'll... probably... find something else to do..."

Actually when Wendy & Josie dragged the corpse away I picked up the two dropped rings off the ground & promptly went over and "proposed" (silently) to Sparrow! She was obviously flattered, but apparently she was already married. Story of my life...

As if that wasn't enough, there was an additional piece of information that makes it even better. Evidently the Washer Well Wenches hadn't figured out what they'd do for a prop ring right off. Someone had the ring pop solution. Yes, that someone was Sheila.

Now all that would have been quite enough, and was already more than I had foreseen. As is said in annoying TV commercials, "But wait, there's more!"

I had not counted on the ring conspiracy leaving Waterloo. It did. It migrated to Siouxland. See, Sheila has a boyfriend and someone thought he might have been a bit jealous or concerned about his girlfriend getting all those proposals and rings. So now it was his turn. He was getting rings and proposals for much (all?) of this past Saturday. I witnessed one.. or several... such. The entire gypsy/belly dance troupe presented their rings all at once. It was quite a sight. Hopefully a photo or two will turn out.

I do have a few new concerns now. One is that one day the fickle finger of fate will point at me, in some as yet unimagined way. Another is that I might have some problems doing this sort of thing again, at least without immediate suspicion. Also, just when will all this ring business finally be over?

And that is what can happen when I start out meaning only to check and adjust tire pressure.