"I don't mean to be rude, but who are you again?"

[vakkotaur]

This applies to more than RCFM, but it did come up at RCFM a few times. People recognized me (am I that distinctive, really?) even before I had a badge on to readily identify myself. That's fine and I have no problem with that. But there is the implied expectation that because someone knows who I am, that I reciprocally know who they are. This is seldom the case.

If I were famous or even merely well-known the situation might make more sense, but I am not certainly not famous and I don't consider myself well-known. I sort of like it that way. The well-known have stories told about them, and those stories are not necessarily complimentary.

What happens here, is that unless I meet someone several times and for an extended time I tend not to remember them very well. I can be introduced to someone in a crowd and a few minutes later be going, "I've met him, but I have no idea who he is." I've been used to this sort of thing for years. When someone greets me in passing, I try to at least say "Hi" or such in passing, though often we're then far enough past each other that it's rather pointless. I'm not trying to be aloof or cold or distant. I tend not to be the first one to say something. It's safer as then I don't have to deal with, "Oh, sorry, I thought you were someone else.." or such.

I had been saying that I needed to see people fairly often to recognize them, and that's mostly true. I can pick up on some folks if I see them outside of a crowd. It's part of the reason I like smaller groups when something is going on, like going out to eat. It's just more manageable.

So, if you see me somewhere and introduce yourself.. and a few hours later I act like I have no idea who you are, please don't be offended. I'm not blowing you off or being intentionally rude. People have to earn that - and very few have put forth the amount of effort required to cross that line. Just don't be surprised or offended if I talk for bit trying to get my bearings and finally give up and ask, "Who are you?"

Comments

[jmthane.livejournal.com]

am I that distinctive, really?

Yes. Yes, you are.

That's not a bad thing, necessarily...

[rillaspins.livejournal.com]

But, I don't know who I am, either.

[khirmoonclaw.livejournal.com]

Its all good vak,

I did notice you before you me but we have never met before..

It was really great chatting with you and nice to finally meet you..

[kiwihunter8.livejournal.com]

The same things happens to me, don't be embarrassed. I want people to have their names emblazoned on their foreheads at registration.

[haystack.livejournal.com]

We need to have our names floating over our heads like in multiplayer online games. :D

[haystack.livejournal.com]

My 'new' beard threw off quite a few friends!

You may recall I had to chat with you for a bit to be really sure who you were... *looks a bit embarrassed, himself*

Though it doesn't matter so much now, I found out that little town with the speed trap is Myrtlewood, AL. Thanks again for trying to get on the hotel's net for me. :)

[kinkyturtle.livejournal.com]

I get the same thing! And sometimes I talk to people who really don't understand this, and they say something like "Don't you remember me? We talked for a few minutes at Anthrocon!" Or in one case, "I was sitting at a table at MFF listening to you while you were talking to PandaGuy." Ummm right, how the heck am I supposed to remember a guy from that?