So, what's it like being a centaur?

[vakkotaur]

Well, you tell me what it's like not being a centaur? Okkay, okkay...

I think it's pretty good, but then I would, wouldn't I? Not that there aren't problems, though those are mainly the result of being a centaur in a world designed by and for bipeds.

Stairs are not my favorite thing. Going up stairs is easy enough, but down is a problem. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to go down stairs with hooves? If you're a biped, think of doing that on your toes, every time. Elevators generally aren't much better as they're so small. Getting on and off escalators... well, that takes some practice. It's weird to half-stop or half-start for a moment.

Even single-floor buildings can be a tight squeeze. Corridors aren't all that wide, really, and many rooms are quite small. Adding common furniture, which is either of no use or at the wrong height, only cramps things more.

Transportation, at least if for speeds or distances that can't be handled by "hoofing it" means a large vehicle, also not designed with a centaur in mind. Vans with "handicapped" hand controls are about as good it gets, unless I have a chauffeur as it were and ride in a trailer. Flying is its own special misadventure, and the costs are non-trivial.

There are upsides. Even a small centaur is taller than most humans so the view is good. Seeing over a crowd is no problem. One must be careful to be on the outside of the crowd, though, as it's also easy to block the view of many. The downside is that some doorways are quite low. With the height comes an inherent intimidation factor whether intended or not, so generally people get out of the way. Not everyone, of course. There are the curious, the kids, and some folks are just friendly and take things in stride. Unfortunately there is also the occasional jerk. Sometimes it's hard to resist giving some bozo a solid kick.

I do get asked about rides, and if I'm not all that busy I don't mind too much. Mostly it's kids that ask, and they're certainly light enough. The problem is that they aren't the best riders and don't always understand the concept of "enough." It does sort of work out, for some, as centaurs have a great advantage at riding schools and the like, teaching equitation. It's one thing for a rider to have an instructor tell them something, it's another to hear the "horse" tell them something. It suddenly gets much easier to believe the very same advice "right from the horse's mouth."

Oh, yeah, the "horsie!" thing, it's generally no big deal. At least for the younger and older centaurs. It'll get some reaction and resentment from the adolescent, but then what won't? As long as "horse" isn't being used in a derogatory manner, it's not a big deal.

I suppose some might be wondering about being around actual horses. It's also not a big deal. Some time may be needed to get everyone used to things, but that's normal when it comes to horses even without a centaur around. The annoying questions, or worse, whispers, are about relation(ship)s with horses. I think there was a Saturday Night Live skit (I didn't see it) about this a few years ago. "What if you only saw the back part..." I am reminded of a TV commercial of some years ago. In this commercial, some guy was driving along in a convertible and saw what seemed to be a long-haired girl walking down the road. The guy stops to give her a ride... and then discovers much to his disappointment that it's a really long-haired guy. That's about what it can feel like to realize you haven't found another centaur after all.

Back to transportation, "walking distance" is a good long range and there's generally no need to fiddle with motor vehicles and such for shorter trips - which can be several miles. It's not always a walk, of course, as a trot is faster and doesn't take all that much effort. The carrying of things can get a bit involved, but a backpack and/or "saddlebags" (sans saddle) can take care of many things.

As furniture tends to be just wrong, it's nice to be able to get in a quick nap on occasion while standing. A good long sleep isn't done standing, but a light nap is possible.

---

Q: How do you scratch an itch in the middle of your back?
A: That's easy: twist around, reach, scratch. Itches farther back are more troublesome, as are itches on the midsection of the vertical portion of the back. The typical "backscratcher" works well enough for the vertical problem and can help in some cases of itches further back.

Q: What's worse the low ceilings or the narrow hallways?
A: The narrow hallways, definitely. Most ceilings are high enough that they are not in themselves a problem. Doorways, light fixtures, and ceiling fans, however, can all be a hazard.

Q: How do you coordinate all those limbs?
A: How do you manage balance all the time on just two? But really, you don't think about walking or running, you just do it. It's the same thing, only very tricky things that you'd have to think are the things we have to think about. Also, not all the much is really done with the hands and arms when moving. The upper limbs get the most use when the lower limbs are still.

Q: Who do you like in the 5th at Hialeah?
A: You know, centaurs have as much trouble as anyone else figuring the outcome of a race. And considering what all is involved in horse racing, we're not all that fond of the idea.

Q: Can I trade in 100 centaurs for an aur?
A: No. But you might find a centaur member of AUR someday.

Q: So, why a horse? Why not a kangaroo, puppy-dog, or a nifty raccoon?
A: Huh? Why weren't you born a different species?

Q: Wouldn't the extra set of legs hinder your aim as an archer?
A: Not having experience with six legs, I cannot say for certain. I doubt it would hinder aim. If anything, I would expect the additional stability to help. How people manage to do things precariously balanced on only two legs without falling over all the time seems to be quite an achievement.

Comments

Being a Centaur...

[wolfnevets.livejournal.com]

OK I'll ask too, I wanta "horsey" ride! This couldn't be any "worster" than Peter Griffin riding Brian on Family Guy. LMFTO.

Re: Being a Centaur...

[vakkotaur.livejournal.com]

Well, okkay. I seem to have some time today.