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vakkotaurTell me something.
Tell me (almost) anything.
It can be true.
It can be a lie.
It can be a damned lie.
It can be a statistic.
It can be an anecdote.
It can be an antidote.
It can be a receipt.
It can be a recipe.
It can be a hope.
It can be a dream.
It can be a nightmare.
It can be a vision.
It can be what you had for breakfast.
It can be what you wish you'd had for breakfast.
It can be a cleaner.
It can be clean.
It can be risque.
It can be a joke.
It can be a disaster.
It can be a comedy.
It can be a tragedy.
It can be serious.
It can be silly.
It can be a euphemism.
It can be a quotation.
It can be a mis-attribution.
It can be one thing.
It can be many things.
It can contain multitudes.
So help me, it can even be a wretched sports score.
Or even country music lyrics.
Or even bad poetry.
BUT... it cannot be political or election related!
Thank you.
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no subject
Date: 2 Nov 2004 09:02 (UTC)As a joke his (Copperfield's) friend took a photo of the protester and presented it to him. He carries it with him and hangs it in his dressing room because it makes him laugh. Well, he went back to that city recently and the same protester was out front. He grabed his friend with the camera and ran out. He introduced himself as the Devil, David Copperfield. He then put is arm around the mans back and took another picture which he put into his pocket. The protester looked at him and David Copperfield said "I would like you to have this photo." He gave him the photo from the dressing room (The one of only the protester." and walked away laughing. After all, you can't photogragh the Devil.
no subject
Date: 2 Nov 2004 09:32 (UTC)You can't? Huh...
no subject
Date: 2 Nov 2004 19:22 (UTC)no subject
Date: 2 Nov 2004 09:09 (UTC)The wallpaper in this room is old and boring
Tell me (almost) anything.
The lawn guys have a HUGE very noisy leaf blower - actually it sucks.
It can be true.
Christmas is coming.
It can be a lie.
The world is really flat.
It can be a damned lie.
I'm a virgin.
It can be a statistic.
50%... of what? beats me!
It can be an anecdote.
I had the car fixed today. It only cost 1/2 of the estimate!
It can be an antidote.
Pepto Bismol
It can be a receipt.
Sorry, can't give you one... need those to send in for the rebate.
It can be a recipe.
Source [Dawson, 1596. The Good Huswife's Jewel]: To Make a tarte of Strawberries. Wash your strawberries, and put them into your Tarte, and season them with suger, cynamon and Ginger, and put in a littl red wine into them.
It can be a hope.
Hope the noisy neighbors move far far away.
It can be a dream.
How about something very erotic?
It can be a nightmare.
My dream could be someone elses nightmare... how about something very erotic?
It can be a vision.
I bumped my head and there were two of everything... does that count?
It can be what you had for breakfast.
Diet Mt. Dew... sorry... that's what I had...
It can be what you wish you'd had for breakfast.
Eggs, hashbrowns, toast and maybe some reallllly crispy bacon.
It can be a cleaner.
Dawn Dishwashing Liquid.
It can be clean.
The laundry I just took out of the washer.
It can be risque.
You mean like... Look at the Wench with the big TIPS?
It can be a joke.
Did ya hear about the skeleton that couldn't cross the road? He didn't have the guts for it! You didn't say it had to be a GOOD joke.
It can be a disaster.
The Hindenburg.
It can be a comedy.
A Midsummer Night's Dream.
It can be a tragedy.
Romeo and Juliette.
It can be serious.
You mean like the house is on fire?
It can be silly.
Silly Putty?
It can be a euphemism.
OK... Shoe Polish - it's about the same color and starts with the same two letters!
It can be a quotation.
"Oh Bother" WT Pooh
It can be a mis-attribution.
Who's she?
It can be one thing.
A whole watermelon.
It can be many things.
All the seeds from the watermelon.
It can contain multitudes.
You mean like football fans?
So help me, it can even be a wretched sports score.
41-13... oh you want the teams? Beats me... I thought you just wanted a score.
Or even country music lyrics.
LEFTY LEFT US LONELY
Words and music by Boxcar Willie
CAPO: 2nd Fret/KEY: A/:PLAY: G
[G] Now Lefty came from Texas
At least that what they [G7] say
He [C] cut a record down in Dallas
It really got 'im on his way
[D7] You could hear 'im on ev'ry jukebox
In ev'ry town and state
Ev'ry DJ played - Always [G] Late.
Now Lefty wasn't no saint
He didn't claim to be
He could sing a country song
Send cold chills through me
Like the son of a Saginaw fisherman
He sang --- in Saginaw, Michigan
If [C] you got money, honey, I've got the time
When he [G] sang that song, well, he nearly blew my mind
I'd walk for miles, cry or [D7] smile, for my [G] mama and [C] daddy
And it [G] tears me up to [D7] see a grown man [G] cry.
Lefty left us lonely
He left before his time
But I can see 'im singin' now to an angel
At that Opry in the sky
I'm just an old, old man a-lookin' for fun
Why, oh! why, do you do me this way?
If you got money, honey, I've got the time
When he sang that song, well, he nearly blew my mind
I'd walk for miles, cry or smile, for my mama and daddy
Oh! why, oh! why, oh! why, do you do me this way?
TAG: Yeah! Oh! why, oh! why, oh! why, do you do me this way?
[P] Always Late.
Or even bad poetry.
Roses are red
Violets are purple
I love chocolate more than maple surple.
BUT... it cannot be political or election related!
What a relief!
Thank you.
You're welcome.
no subject
Date: 2 Nov 2004 09:31 (UTC)Wheeeee! Silliness abounding!
no subject
Date: 2 Nov 2004 09:43 (UTC)no subject
Date: 2 Nov 2004 09:21 (UTC)no subject
Date: 2 Nov 2004 09:30 (UTC)Quite useful. I can manage the time off for MFF - though not as much as I'd originally planned. Now I have to make the return trip on Monday. I am registered already. I think I will have sufficient funds for it (I know I will, really, but I like a good buffer...).
no subject
Date: 2 Nov 2004 10:21 (UTC)no subject
Date: 2 Nov 2004 10:57 (UTC)That does sound yummy.
no subject
Date: 2 Nov 2004 11:51 (UTC)no subject
Date: 2 Nov 2004 13:53 (UTC)Place 1/2 cup granulated sugar, 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon, a pinch of nutmeg in ziplock bag.
Place apple piece in bag, shake to coat with sugar etc.
Preheat oven to temp on Croissant container,
Roll sweetened apple bits into croissants
Bake. Consume :) It has to be Macs because they cook quickly and mush a bit. This is how I use up my "old" apples that are about to take a turn.
no subject
Date: 2 Nov 2004 16:23 (UTC)no subject
Date: 2 Nov 2004 19:26 (UTC)No English word rhymes with "orange."
Tell me (almost) anything.
cexp((0, 4.0 * atan(1.0)) .eq. ... uh, some number.
It can be true.
p v ~p.
It can be a lie.
I can still play the clarinet really well.
It can be a damned lie.
Most of those that I know violate your constraint.
It can be a statistic.
The mean height of American women is 5'4".
It can be an anecdote.
Some years back, in the days when "smart drinks" were the rage, I actually tried one. For about $6 you could have a fruit juice of your choice with assorted amino acids. I read the warning, confirmed that I wasn't on MAO inhibitors, pregnant, or lactating, plunked down my money, and chose orange juice.
I flashed back to my childhood, when I made myself a big glass of Tang, a supersaturated solution with an orange-like taste and a crunch. The "smart drink" was just like that, but I drank it.
"Paying $6 for that was stupid," I thought, then in a flash, I realized--Wow! I'm smarter already!
It can be an antidote.
Captain Beefheart is a fine antidote to any song stuck in your head.
It can be a receipt.
Carolan's Receipt
It can be a recipe.
pad thai recipe
It can be a hope.
The one foremost in my mind right now violates your constraint.
It can be a dream.
A penniless Bill Gates applies for a job as janitor at Red Hat and is turned down.
It can be a nightmare.
At a motel, I tried one of those coin-operated vibrating beds That night, I dreamed of being staked to the ground as army ants approached.
It can be a vision.
Vernor Vinge's Singularity; may it come soon.
It can be what you had for breakfast.
Mmmmm.... raisin bran.
It can be what you wish you'd had for breakfast.
Mmmmm.... oatmeal with apples and cinnamon, with a side of bacon.
It can be a comedy.
It can be a tragedy.
It can be serious.
It can be silly.
As Frank Sinatra would sing, "That's life."
("What's life?"
"A magazine."
"What's it cost?"
"A nickel."
"I only got a dime."
"Well, that's life."
"What's life?"...)
It can be a quotation.
"It is said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have sought evidence which could support this." --Bertrand Russell
It can be one thing.
"Thank you, Thing." --Morticia Addams, more times than I can count...
It can be many things.
Actually, it can't be that many things. LJ has a limit on comment length.
Or even country music lyrics.
Well, when you're down on your luck
And you ain't got a buck
In London, you're a goner
Even London Bridge is fallin' down
And moved to Arizona
Now I know why.
I'll substatiate the rumor
That the English sense of humor
Is drier than the Texas sand
You can put up your dukes
Or you can bet your boots
I'm leavin' just as fast as I can
(CHORUS)
I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
The friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
Well, it's cold down here
And I swear
I wish they'd turn the heat on
And where in the world
Is that English girl
I promised that I'd meet on the third floor?
And of the whole damn lot
The only friend I've got
Is a smoke and a cheap guitar
My mind keeps roamin'
My heart keeps longin'
To be home in a Texas bar
(CHORUS)
Well I decided that
I'd get my cowboy hat
And go down to Marble Arch Station
'Cause when a Texan fancies
He'll take his chances
Chances will be taken,
That's for sure
And them limey eyes
They were eyin' the prize
Some people call "manly footwear"
They said "You're from down South
and when you open your mouth,
you always seem to put your foot there."
(CHORUS)
--"London Homesick Blues," Gary P. Nunn
Or even bad poetry.
The merest sample of the exquisitely bad poetry of William McGonagall:
"Alas! Lord and Lady Dalhousie are dead and buried at last,
Which causes many people to feel a little downcast."
--William McGonagall, "The Death of Lord and Lady Dalhousie"
no subject
Date: 7 Nov 2004 20:48 (UTC)