Vakko spoils the joke with a real answer - I

[vakkotaur]

Someone had a list of questions phrased to make somewhat common things seem rather silly. But the it's just the phrasing that does it. A little thought about how things probably actually happened defuses the phrases. It spoils the joke, but sometimes a right answer is more useful than a moment of alleged humor. So from time to time I'll post something in this series. I'll start off with a common one:

Q: Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

A: This is a case of definitions mixing. While people do park on driveways, they do have to drive on to and off of them. The driveway is what is driven on to the garage, if a person has one and keeps their car there.

A parkway, as originally meant, is a way through a park. Parking a vehicle was not part of the original definition. As an example there is Theodore Wirth Parkway in the Twin Cities. It winds through Theodore Wirth Park.

---

While I'm at it, I may as well take care of another one before it starts bugging me too much:

Q: Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

A: The existence of indecent human beings. Well, maybe not quite. How about unreasonable people?

The char setting of the range is for the same reason that toasters have a setting lighter than almost anyone would really want to use. It's a classic user interface problem, really. If you were in the business of building toasters you wouldn't know what setting every person wants and if you decide for people, you will almost always be wrong. So instead of having no settings, or even a few settings, a range is provided.

So far so good. But the question is, "Why such a large range that includes those silly choices?" A narrow range would probably not be enough for some people and they'd be complaining about how they want their toast "just a little lighter" or "just a little darker" and how the manufacturer is being unreasonable for not allowing that. So instead, the range is made excessive. This quietly demonstrates that the manufacturer isn't limiting your choices. Want dark toast? Well, you can set it all the way to "carbonized bread" if you really want to.

Comments

[melskunk.livejournal.com]

I myself eat 'barely toasted' toast, which is qutie unreasonable, so I generally make my own toast rather than force people to try and get it just right.

[typographer.livejournal.com]

I was already to post a faux tirade that the lightest setting on toasters exists for a very good reason.

I, too, prefer 'barely toasted' toast, and I've met many others who do, too. My father, otoh, is of the "slab o' charcoal" school -- and he isn't the only one, either. So I still believe that the only unreasonable people are the ones who think the extreme settings aren't used, wanted, AND reasonable. :P

[vakkotaur.livejournal.com]

And thus is shown the extent that it is a user interface issue, with an extreme of preferences even within a single family.

No worries.

[vakkotaur.livejournal.com]

That question doesn't amke assumptions about history. Besides, I don't know how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. I've been wondering, does "chuck wood" mean throwing lumber, or fitting it into a drill for some reason?

[tkcoyote.livejournal.com]

That first one's a new one to me...then again, I don't think I've ever seen or been on a parkway. Does make sense that we drive on a driveway as well...I mean, look at those huge mansions! 1-mile long drive ways, of course they'll need to drive that far. Okay, rambling, (apologies). That "Burned" setting works good in restaurants since we can just take off the slightly burned areas...it's much better than having to put it through a second time because it didn't brown enough on the lower setting. (Can't be changing the settings cause they ask for different types of bread that toast at different settings)
-Tk

Toaster Settings

[https://users.livejournal.com/-dakko/]

I like my toast toasted, unfortunately depending on the size of the bread, whether it's white or brown (actually rye is my preference) and how big the pieces are, you need to use a lot of the adjustment range to get it right. The worst is near the end of the loaf when the toast in one side will be fine and the smaller adjacent piece will be setting off the smoke-alarm!

If you're keeping score, I like it dark, but not carbonized... and I don't like it cold - if it sits too long it's microwave time!

[kinkyturtle.livejournal.com]

I hate it when someone is more interested in a joke than in the true story, to the point that I don't get to show off my vast stores of knowledge!

F'rinstance, Lewis Black did a routine about a place in Houston where there's a Starbucks across the street from another Starbucks. His explanation was that this is for Alzheimer's patients, who would go to one, have a cup of coffee, step outside, look across the street, and say, "Hmm... time for a cup of coffee!"

But I figured out the real reason! It's for busy yuppies who don't have time to make a U-turn to grab a cup before dashing off to work. But whenever I try to explain this to somebody, they always say "No, no, see, it's for Alzheimer's patients." And I say, "Yeah, I've heard that part, but I know the real reason! It's for busy yuppies," but they just say "No no no no, Alzheimer's patients." Hmph!

[keeper1st.livejournal.com]

It could just because the place is too busy for one location.

I came across a "history of pizza" show a few weeks ago, and they mentioned how the original Pizzeria Uno in Chicago became so popular that they opened up a second restaurant across the street (called Pizzeria Due -- this was before they started a chain). Both places are still there, apparently, and they still call the other one Pizzeria Due even though there now are dozens of Pizzeria Uno locations across the country.

[kinkyturtle.livejournal.com]

Ooo, I didn't think of that.

But see, that's still more interesting, to me anyway, than just repeating the "Alzheimer patients" joke!

fun with ambiguity

[foolscap001.livejournal.com]

Most human languages have that kind of ambiguity... I saw a sign in front of a restaurant back when I lived in Norman that read

ALL YOU CAN EAT
SHRIMP

If I were short, I'd be insulted!

Restrooms these days also tend to have signs that read

BABY CHANGING STATION

which makes me envision a couple looking at it and saying "Look, dear! We always wanted a girl; let's take Bobby to the baby changing station!" Even more alarming is the illustration, which shows a baby elephant in a diaper. You'd think that Jeremy Rifkin would be protesting...

Most recently I've noticed self-serve gasoline pumps with instructions. One instruction is "REMOVE NOZZLE," but I never remember to bring a big enough wrench to do that.

[fiddledragon]

although then there's the Garden State Parkway - I wouldn't exactly call that a road going through a park. Then again, it may have started that way. Either way, it's a toll road now :P